10 Unspoken Rules of Adulting You Can Not Afford to Ignore

For the longest time, I thought becoming an adult meant turning 18; as I’ve gotten older, I realized that becoming an adult is more of a process; it is a maturity that comes with time.

If you haven’t had a lot of mentors in your life or don’t know people older than you who can give you advice, you may not know about some of these.

I was never taught these ten things in school, but I genuinely believe every adult should do to better prepare for the future. Some of these are harder than others, but all are essential to “adulting.”

1. You need a Will

Drafting a will is more than a legal formality; it’s a way to ensure your legacy is preserved and your loved ones are protected. You minimize potential disputes and legal complications by clearly specifying how your assets should be distributed.

You don’t have to own a home or have children to create a will. A will can act as a buffer for your family, if you suddenly pass the last thing you would want is your family fighting over the few assets that you might have. No one wants to have to guess the wishes of their loved ones after they’re gone. A will is a gift to your family members and your friends.

If you are lucky enough never to have had to deal with the death of a loved one, you may not realize how much work goes into winding down somebody’s life. Taxes, life insurance, assets, burials, funerals, bank accounts, and jobs must be planned and notified in the event of your death.

Assigning an executor to handle all of this is one of the most important decisions you will make on behalf of your friends and family. Choose someone you can trust to carry out your wishes and then make your wishes very clear.

If you have many assets or dependents, you may want to go through a lawyer to draft a will; however, if you need something simple to get started, I recommend checking out Mama Bear Legal Forms. You can get a will entirely online for under $200, and it’s a great place to start for young adults.

It can be really hard to consider what you want everyone to do in the event of your death, but consider how much harder it will be for them if you don’t give them any guidance. We are all going to die someday, so let’s prepare for it in the same way that we prepare for weddings, vacations, and moves.

2. You Need an Estate Plan

Many people assume that if you have a will you’re set, however estate planning goes beyond drafting a will. It includes setting up trusts to protect and distribute your assets, establishing healthcare directives for crucial medical decisions, and choosing a power of attorney for your legal and financial affairs. This comprehensive planning helps manage tax implications and ensures your estate is handled according to your wishes.

This is an essential step if you want to pass on wealth to your family or friends after you pass. A will ensure your beneficiary will get your assets when you pass; estate planning will maximize those assets to pass on as much wealth as possible.

A will is just a small piece of estate planning. The plan may look different depending on your assets and your family dynamic; here is an excellent article about creating an estate plan to get you started. If you have significant assets or are over the age of 50, you may want to consider hiring a lawyer to help you with some of this.

3. Get Life Insurance

As stated previously, everyone dies. If you don’t happen to die at the age of 100 peacefully in your bed, you probably want life insurance.

Life insurance is a safety net for your family, providing financial stability in your absence. It can cover debts and funeral expenses and even serve as a financial cushion for your dependents.

Unfortunately, life insurance, much like credit cards, has a lot of scam products and misinformation surrounding it. Many financial experts would recommend getting term life insurance. This is usually pretty inexpensive, especially if you’re young and healthy, and you can pay for 10 — 25 years at a time. You can always create additional policies as your income increases or adjust the policy to fit your needs better.

Any other life insurance policy, not term life insurance, is trying to act as an investment. You’ll make more money in the market than through a life insurance provider. There’s a reason that there are so many salespeople pushing whole life insurance: it’s because they get a cut. Don’t fall for it and set up a simple life insurance policy that’s cheap and easy to understand.

4. Regular Dental Checkups

Most people know they should go in for their annual physicals with their primary care providers, but when did you last get a regular dental check-up? Dental health is a window to your overall well-being.

Regular checkups prevent oral diseases, provide professional cleaning, and save you from future costly procedures. The link between oral and general health cannot be overstated, making these checkups a smart investment in your health. Going in every six months for a cleaning is really important, but more than that, you should also be taking care of your teeth.

Flossing regularly, using mouthwash, and brushing twice daily can do more for your health than taking a vitamin or supplement. Once you have damaged your teeth, it is very hard to repair them again, so taking care of them in the first place is the best thing you can do to avoid more expensive procedures.

5. Budget and Financial Plan

Financial stability starts with a budget. It’s your roadmap for tracking income and expenses, setting financial goals, and balancing saving, investing, and debt repayment. Without a budget, you really won’t know where your money is going without diving into your bank statement every single month and categorizing it.

Planning how you’re going to spend your money before you get the money is one of the best ways to make the most of your income. Once you’ve entered adulthood, your job is going to be the single best tool for wealth building. However wealth building is not going to happen by accident, it needs to be paired with a plan.

Those first few times of figuring out a budget can be painful. Most of us will realize we’re spending money on things we don’t need or find out that we aren’t making enough money to cover our necessities. Both are hard to realize but essential if we want to do better.

A budget shouldn’t be a set of rules or restrictions; it is a permission that allows you to spend your money responsibly and without guilt. I know how much I can spend on fun things or new clothes each month. I no longer have anxiety when checking my bank account because I know exactly how much is in there.

If you’re not already tracking your money with some sort of app or budget, this is something you can start today.

6. Build an Emergency Fund

An emergency fund acts as your financial lifebuoy. It should be substantial enough to cover unexpected expenses but also easily accessible. We keep $5000 in an emergency fund savings account. We can easily transfer this money to our checking account in less than 30 seconds, but we have strict rules about when it can be used.

Emergencies are things that come up that we were not expecting. For example, somebody’s birthday present we forgot about is not an emergency; we should’ve planned better. My car tire popping on the highway is an emergency.

Anytime we use our emergency fund, our main focus is rebuilding that fund backup. We also supplement this emergency fund with sinking funds; these are savings accounts we add to throughout the year so that some of those more expected emergencies can be funded from our sinking funds rather than the emergency fund. Some of our sinking funds include birthday and Christmas gifts, car repairs, vet and doctor visits, and generosity (like when your neighbor stops by your house and asks if you want to buy Girl Scout cookies).

Your emergency fund can be anywhere between $1000 and six months of your income. This is a personal number, and it’s up to you to decide how much you want to save. However, I would always recommend at least $1000, which will cover most emergency expenses or give you a buffer to find other alternatives. If you’re single or trying to get out of debt, $1000 should be plenty. If you are a family of 6 and own a home, you probably want that fund to be closer to $10,000.

Consider what kind of emergencies might come up that you would have to pay for and then make your decision based on that. Some of these emergencies may include a crazy hailstorm that damages your car, a plane ticket to visit a dying loved one, an x-ray for a broken arm, or a week's worth of groceries when your refrigerator died and you lost all your food.

7. Invest in Retirement

Retirement may seem far off, but early and consistent investing in retirement accounts like 401(k)s and IRAs is crucial. Investing is another industry that has a lot of scam products surrounding it. The best advice I can give you as you start to look into investing is to only invest in what you understand. You should not have to rely on someone else to handle your money; this might mean watching many YouTube videos, hiring an advisor who teaches you, or reading a dull book to understand investing.

Your 401(k) through your job is going to be one of the best ways to start saving for retirement, most employers offer a match of some sort which is essentially free money for you. The next best option for most people is some sort of Roth IRA. We are working our way up to saving 15% of our income for retirement, however that number can be higher especially if you don’t have any debt.

A good rule of thumb is that some of the most boring investments are often the most stable, don’t worry about chasing the newest thing, invest your money and places that are most likely to grow over the next few decades.

8. Understand Health Insurance

Unfortunately, if you live in the United States, you know healthcare and health insurance can be really confusing. Navigating health insurance plans is complex, but it is important that you understand some of the basics so that you can make the most of your plan. Understanding the types of plans, coverage, benefits, and out-of-pocket expenses is essential. This knowledge helps manage healthcare costs and ensures you get the necessary medical care.

Again, the best and most affordable option is typically if your employer offers health insurance.

Health insurance is essentially like paying to be part of a club, you pay a monthly fee, called the monthly premium to be part of the insurance. Every insurance plan will cover different health-related services. Insurance companies will help pay for your medical bills once you have paid a certain amount of money yourself (or “out of pocket”); this is called the deductible.

Many plans will cover things like annual doctor visits, and you may have to pay a small co-pay (a percentage of the total), but your insurance will cover the rest even if you have not met your yearly deductible.

Most insurances will require that you visit doctors who are also a part of the club (” in-network”); if you choose to visit a doctor who is not part of the club, you will usually have to pay for everything yourself.

If you are young and in good general health, choosing a high deductible plan will mean a lower monthly payment, but if you do need to go to the doctor, you will pay more to meet that deductible. If you go to the doctor often or have an ongoing condition requiring you to see multiple providers, you may want to find a plan with a low deductible, meaning you have out-of-pocket expenses but a higher monthly fee.

If you’re unemployed or self-employed, there are still options for you to get health insurance through your state or insurance alternatives such as CHM.

Once you have health insurance, I recommend starting a sinking fund for the same price as your deductible. For example, if your deductible is $5,000, and you got in a car accident where you were rushed to the hospital and an ambulance and then given treatment, your total bill might be $45,000. You are responsible for the first $5,000; the insurance will pay the rest. You'll be good to go if that $5,000 deductible is saved already. Many people do not meet their deductible, especially if they are healthy and don’t have any emergencies during the year. So, having that saved up can give you the buffer you need so you do not get surprised by medical bills.

9. Network and Build Relationships

Building a professional network is key to career advancement in today’s remote workforce. Utilizing social media and professional platforms and engaging in both online and offline networking activities can open doors to numerous opportunities.

We all know it can be hard to make friends as adults, but sometimes, making acquaintances can be even more challenging. It takes intentionality and a little bit of awkwardness to reach out and build up a network. But it can be well worth it, especially if it’s a difference between a promotion or a new job.

LinkedIn is one of the most prominent and easiest ways to start building a professional network. Add all of your previous work experience and search for people you worked with to add them as connections. Keep your LinkedIn updated and add connections as you meet new people and attend events.

Around 65% — 85% of jobs are found through networking; who you know does matter. By surrounding yourself with people who work at companies you want to be at and industries you are interested in, you will have a well-rounded view of the job you’re looking for. Many companies offer referral bonuses, recruiters often find your résumé based on the connections you have on your profile, and many former coworkers will refer you if they liked working with you in the past.

The key here is to consider people you already know and work on strengthening those connections and relationships. Focus on not burning bridges when you leave a job; do so respectfully and on good terms with your team. The world is more connected than many of us give it credit for; networking in relationship building does not have to be difficult, but it does take some time; the more time you contribute to it, the more benefits will come from it.

10. Learn Basic Home Maintenance

When my husband and I bought our first house, I was completely overwhelmed by the amount of skills we didn’t have. We didn’t know how to work a gas fireplace, we didn’t know how to clean out the vents for the dryer, we weren’t sure the best way to keep our gutters clean. There were hundreds of tiny tasks and home maintenance chores that needed to be done to keep her home running smoothly.

Knowing basic home maintenance skills can save you significant money and time. From fixing a leaky faucet to regular home maintenance checks, these skills are invaluable. Understanding when to tackle a project and call a professional is also crucial.

There are a lot of resources for homeowners, such as blog posts, workbooks, notion templates, you name it. This can be a great starting point for understanding what you need to do to maintain your home. However, learning the skills themselves is the hard part. There will be many things you can do yourself, and there are many things that are best left to the professionals. Saving up some money and a sinking fund for basic repairs and maintenance is not a bad idea.

Here are a few things we hire professionals to do for our home:

• Trim and take care of our trees. We have four very large trees for us to maintain and trim. It would take expensive tools, very tall ladders, and some knowledge we don’t have. It’s cheaper to pay for an arborist to care for our trees rather than try to do it ourselves. The last thing we want is a tree falling onto our home.

• We needed a new air-conditioning unit and furnace, so we hired a company to do both for us. We live in Colorado, which has extreme weather, and we wanted to ensure this was done right. It was not cheap, but we have no regrets about the investment.

• Finishing a basement. We had professional contractors, electricians, and plumbers work on our basement. We were able to DIY a lot of it, including painting and many of the finishing touches. However, we always leave that to the professionals when it comes to electricity and plumbing.

Bonus: Be a lifelong learner

One of the best things you can do as an adult is to stay curious. Knowing what you don’t know is often better than knowing a lot of information. If you are willing to learn, take classes, do research, and find the answer to things you don’t yet know, you will be better off the most.

Being self-aware and comfortable with admitting what you don’t know is an undervalued soft skill. Being a lifelong learner means staying curious about the world. It means that if you don’t know how to do something, you’ll work towards figuring it out. Don’t be afraid to try new things, experiment, Google it, and try to figure it out yourself before asking for help.

In an era of information overload, critical thinking and discernment is key. Don’t be afraid to take a class, read a book, or practice a skill you have not yet mastered. Some of the most humble and wise people I know are people who are constantly learning new information.

Being an adult means accepting responsibility for the things in your control. You can control how your assets are divided, you can control how and where you spend your money, you can control what your retirement is going to look like. You can control what you learn. We do not have control over many things in life, death being one of them. Doing some of the boring and mundane work can be hard, but it is the boring things like this that truly make life easier and often more fulfilling.

Do you have anything you would add to this list? Let me know ;)